Play It Again, Donkey!
Jul. 4th, 2025 01:00 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
cakewrecks_feedToday's Wreck is so unrecognizable I figured I better give you as many clues as possible before showing it to you.
Clue #1: He's big, green, and lives in a swamp.
Clue #2: He's a cartoon ogre.
Clue #3: His name is Shrek.
Clue #4: He looks like this:
Ok, have you guessed who it is yet?
'Cuz here comes the Wreck!
(Choo choo!)
AAAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!
Ahem.
Ok, so it's shiny, toothy, and has a homicidal glint in its dead, dead eyes.
On the other hand, now we know what would happen if the Incredible Hulk and Sloth from the Goonies ever had a love child. Right, Michelle Y.?
*****
P.S. What do you get when you combine a twenty year old movie with a ten year old saying?
Pure punny gold, that's what:
Check Yourself Before You Shrek Yourself Shirt
That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
(Also comes in purple and gray!)
******
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Girl Genius for Friday, July 04, 2025
Jul. 4th, 2025 04:00 amgirlgenius_main_feedWhat’s math for anyway
Jul. 4th, 2025 01:44 amyarn_harlot_feedWell, spoiler alert… Ranunculus fits just fine. This was not at all a guarantee, despite the rather ridiculous number of times that I checked before binding off and going back to do the neck. I felt compelled to pop back and tell you all how it was fitting, not just because I mentioned that I was worried it was going to be too short, but because the very last picture I posted of it on instagram looked like this.
Let’s back up to how I got there – which I admit was a very dramatic moment – one where I went to pull a finished sweater over my head and lo, it did not go. On the upside, I did stop worrying about the length for a while. Here’s what happened. I told you all in the last post that since I changed the gauge on this sweater (I went down a needle size or so to make a fabric I like better. What the heck, it’s my sweater.) That meant though, that I wasn’t at all sure how many I wanted to cast on for a top down sweater, so I skipped it. I cast on provisionally after the neck, and just started working the sweater. When I was done, I came back, picked up all the stitches, and worked the neckband.
Here’s the thing though. Did I do any figuring? Did I follow up on my original thought and have a little chat with my inner knitter about how I was worried it would be too small because I went down a needle size, and perhaps reflect upon how none of that had changed? Yeah verily, did I look upon the knitting and think “Well Stephanie, this is exactly the moment one knits a swatch for” and having though that, picked up the swatch that I did indeed knit, and count how many stitches it would take to go around my noggin? Did I?
No, gentle knitter, I did not. Even though the swatch sat nearby, even though (sort of unbelievably) I had a tape measure nearby… nope. I just took a look at that neckline and decided to just smash the question with the weight of my experience and thought “Looks right.” and just went for it. It was not right. (See above.)
Anyway, obviously I ripped back the cast on, and all the ribbing, and then I did the math and NOW this sweater both goes over my head and …
It is the right length. I knew it.
Sweater: Ranunculus, Yarn; (Cottage Fingering, 50% Merino, 20% Linen, 15% Silk, 15% Cotton) Modifications, changed the gauge, provisional neckline, fewer stitches for the neckband itself – oh, and I only did the short rows in the back, and I made them wider. It fits me better that way.
For now, I’m off to bed. Jen and I are going on a training ride in the morning, and I have to get up at 5:30am to make it happen, and that is not a thing that is really in my wheelhouse without getting to bed early. If I survive, I’ll pop back and tell you a story about some socks.
(PS. If you wanted to sponsor me or Jen tomorrow to encourage two rather old soft women to ride like the wind, you can do it by clicking on our names. We start to ride at 7, and can use whatever encouragement you can offer. )
(no subject)
Jul. 3rd, 2025 08:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
m_of_disguiseKate had a terrible time because Doctor's Office, but she got a lollipop at checkout and all was well. It had rained very briefly, which had cooled things down quite a bit, so we decided to take her to the park so she'd feel better about the outing. We found a new to us park just up the street from the hospital, and she ran around in the field and played on the swingset a bit before tuckering out.
Came home, downed much water, then M went to pick up the grocery order from yesterday. I guess running around at the park did a number on my softened ligaments, because my lower half was SCREAMING in pain. I took a handful of meds and tried some yoga poses to try and get some relief while he was out, but nothing really helped.
He got back with the groceries and we put everything away. The baby wanted to be helpful, and kept bringing me things like the giant tub of parmesan, which was very cute! She was very proud. Then she spotted the container of grapes and was SO EXCITED and forgot about being helpful. XP Though I did look into the living room and see her standing in the middle of the room and gently cradling the bag of Babybel cheeses (her favorites.)
She ate a monumental amount of grapes and then went happily to bed. I laid on the couch for a while to try and help my legs, then gave up and took a shower hoping the hot water would help, which thankfully it did. M and I went to bed, but he kept me up chatting for waaay too long, so I'm very tired today. But, he had heard from his friend that the interviewer considered M to be candidate #1 so far, so he had Many Thoughts about the future he wanted to discuss. Fingers crossed.
8 Cakes For Completely Inappropriate Occasions
Jul. 3rd, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feedI'm a firm believer in celebrating just about everything with cake, and from the submissions you guys send in I'm clearly not the only one. However, there's celebrating, say, a new vasectomy or Daddy's parole, and then there's the stuff that some people might consider, well, inappropriate cake material.
Not me, of course. No sir! Heck, I say, you wanna get pregnant? Then SAY IT WITH CAKE:
Or you're happy you DIDN'T get pregnant? Say THAT with cake.
Let's say your friend Cory suffered a nasty seizure recently. That warrants a cookie cake, right?
(Remember, kids: It's "i before e except after c." Except in the word "seizure.")
And remember that time your friend lost a finger to the lawn mower? Just in case he doesn't, let's remind him! With cake!
I like how this is less a "get well" cake, and more an "IN YOUR FACE! With love from the Lawn Mower" cake.
Driving while intoxicated is a serious crime, so be sure to tell your friends you won't stand for such behavior. Also with cake.
I like to imagine the candles are mini breathalyzers.
(How cool would that invention be? Right? I'll make millions. MILLIONS, I say!)
The world is too success-oriented. We should be sending a better message to younger generations. A message that says, "Hey, no matter what, at least you'll get a cake out of this."
Dangit. Why don't I know any lady farmers to give this to? WHY?!
(PS - You misspelled "Awesome." But I'll let it slide, because melons.)
And finally, my favorite:
Hang on... we get cake for that?
WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!
Thanks to Anony M., Katelyn, KG, Paul S., Paige S., April B., & Stephanie K. for the inspiration.
*****
P.S. That reminds me of my Wonder Womb DIY, but if you're not feeling crafty you can buy this!
"Ivy the Plush Uterus"
I'm told "Ivy" is a play on "In Vitro," but I still say Baron Stabby McCrampus of Bloodhaven is a more appropriate moniker.
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
(no subject)
Jul. 2nd, 2025 08:49 amm_of_disguiseEvening wasn't terribly busy. I made Serbian pork (Mukalika) for dinner using a Betty Crocker recipe. XP Tweaked it considerably because there's no way 1 tsp of paprika is enough for a pound of pork. Added an entire tablespoon and it just got it to where it had some flavor. Needs more spice, needed fattier pork (I used loin, should have used shoulder.) M wasn't able to get to the store in time to pick up our grocery order, which meant I didn't have have enough fresh tomato, so used half a can of fire roasted diced tomatoes, which worked well. Also didn't have fresh peppers, so I used some jarred fire roasted bell peppers, also a good substitution.
This time the recipe came out much better than the first time I tried it. This used to be a childhood favorite of mine, but straight from the book it's rather bland. Will continue to tweak it until it's where I like.
Baby went to bed overtired because dinner took too long to make (I kept waiting for M to pick up the groceries so I could start cooking, so didn't actually start until it became clear that he wouldn't make it) and she had a right meltdown for about 3 minutes until she laid down and realized that oh yeah, sleep is actually pretty alright.
After she was down, M and I did a quick cleanup of the house and took out the trash, then he went up the street to the store to pick up beverages and some sandwich stuff to get him and the baby through the day until he could get the grocery order after work. I crawled into bed and passed out before he got home.
All the paperwork was delivered to the audit team this morning, so I can officially wash my hands of the jail inspection business for this year. Good riddance! One more day until the long weekend.
At Least It's Not A Land War In Asia
Jul. 2nd, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feed
My favorite part is how it's written BELOW the picture.
I almost want this baker to be color blind, just so they have *some* excuse.
Fortunately the baker of this wedding cake followed instructions literally:
See? She *did* write it!
Thanks to Robert B., Tenae Z. & Kate L. for falling victim to one the classic blunders. Just remember, guys: never go against a Simpleton when CAKE is on the line! HAHA HA HAHAH AHAH HA... [thud]
Oops.
*****
P.S. Here's a (hilarious) reminder that English is almost as ridiculous as these cakes:
P Is for Pterodactyl: The Worst Alphabet Book Ever
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Girl Genius for Wednesday, July 02, 2025
Jul. 2nd, 2025 04:00 amgirlgenius_main_feedFetch Me A Hammer, 'Cuz I'm Gonna NAIL THIS
Jul. 1st, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feedI just realized that the term "nailed it!" can have two meanings. Well, three. But despite my naughty word outburst yesterday, this IS still a mostly family-friendly establishment, and the third meaning is a little TOO family-friendly, IF you KNOW what I'm SAYING.
Sorry, my caps lock HAS DEVELOPED A MIND of its OWN.
AND I'VE ALSO BEEN DRINKING.
Where was I?
No, I mean yesterday: where was I? Because I'm guessing these feathers came from somewhere.
Perhaps I should start again.
So. "Nailed it." It can mean, "What ho! I have successfully accomplished my intended endeavor!" *OR* it can mean you hit something with your car.
Pay attention now, because this is a very long setup for a very flat punchline:
NAILED IT.
THANKS TO ANN LEE, who I'm hoping can tell me what kind of bird sheds strawberry-scented feathers. And glitter. And...oh. Waaaaiiit....
*****
"What do you need a 5 pack of assorted body glitters for?"
"The question is what DON'T I need them for."
Unicorn Snot Body Glitter Gel Pack
Plus they're called Unicorn Snot. C'mon. BONUS.
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
(no subject)
Jul. 1st, 2025 08:41 amm_of_disguiseWork was stupid busy, I don't think I stopped moving except for a very short 20 minute lunchbreak (I'm allotted an hour.) It will probably be more of the same today, since all our paperwork is due to the auditors tomorrow. At least then my part of it will be done, and things will go back to being normal for a while.
Two upcoming OB appointments, one tomorrow for a regular checkup, the other next week for the actual amnio. I've asked M if Chance can come and watch the baby while we're at the appointment. She already gets so distressed just seeing me lay down on the table, I can't imagine how horrible it would be for her to see a giant needle go into my belly (it is almost comically enormous).
Completely forgot that we have a three-day weekend coming up. Hooray! No plans for the 4th. Not only is Katie too young for a fireworks show, but I don't really feel like celebrating this country this year.
Rebuilding journal search again
Jun. 30th, 2025 03:18 pmalierak posting in ![[site community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/comm_staff.png){kind=small}
dw_maintenanceMeanwhile search services should be running, but probably returning no results or incomplete results for most queries.
GET ME A UNICORN CHASER! (Oh. Wait.)
Jun. 30th, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feed[Note: Today's post contains a mildly bad word, because I put it in to make John laugh and then he said it was too funny to take out. Please parent accordingly.]
According to Urban Dictionary, a unicorn chaser is anything that "serves as a cleansing of the palate after a viewer has been subjected to a distasteful internet image or experience." If you've ever mistakenly clicked a link that showed you something really disgusting, like clown porn or those prairie dresses from Target, then you know what I'm talking about.
You used to be able to buy a Unicorn Chaser from ThinkGeek (RIP), thought they never mentioned what it tasted like. I'm guessing moonbeams and Oreo filling, because I can't imagine anything that tastes better than that, except maybe Oreo filling without the moonbeams. But it might taste like green Skittles, which would be disgusting, and then you'd need another chaser for your Unicorn chaser. Which would be both sad and kind of filling.
Look, my point is that these clouds look like shit:
No, wait. That wasn't my point at all.
My point is, Unicorn horns: Do they really need a point?
Or can they just be a giant lump like a cartoon head injury?
Or a large pile of bird doo-doo?
And do unicorns need heads, or can they just puke rainbows directly out of their necks?
Assuming they still have a horn jammed in there somewhere, I mean?
True Story: As I was typing "do unicorns need heads" just now, I could totally hear one of you saying, "Why would a unicorn need a bathroom at sea?" And I was all, "WAIT FOR ME TO FINISH THE QUESTION, IMAGINARY WISE-GUY READER." And then you were all, "Gee, sorry," and I was able to move on after eating a spoonful of Oreo filling for recovery purposes.
This unicorn-pooping-cupcakes cake is adorable, and I won't have any of you speaking a WORD against it.
Unless you want to comment on the wonky elongated nipple/leg. That I'd be ok with.
And finally, you know how when you visit a friend or relative, and you break something, and you just lay the broken bits down like they're not broken and hope nobody notices until a few days after you leave? No?
Ok, how about this:
You know how when you can't get a cake unicorn head to stand up on its own, so you just break it off and plop it back down on the body at an unnatural angle and pretend it's supposed to look like that?
o.0
[backing away slowly]
If anyone needs me, I'll just be over here eating Oreo fillings in the moonlight. Just as soon as I find a picture of the moon for my computer screen.
Hey Laura B., Andrea & Anne Marie, Joshanna R., Robin E., & Samantha S. - why the long face and creepy demon eyes?
*****
P.S. Oh! For you minions who have both a pool and a sense of style:
Unicorn Pool Float
YOUR STEED AWAITS
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
(no subject)
Jun. 30th, 2025 09:03 amm_of_disguiseOther than that, the weekend was very quiet. I didn't get much done that I had hoped to accomplish, no chores and no sewing anything, but the baby was in a pretty good mood both days, and she slept in each morning, which meant I got to, as well, which was extremely nice. I even had to go in and wake her up on Sunday morning because she was still asleep by 10:30, and I wasn't about to let her throw off her bedtime that drastically.
M spent the majority of the weekend out of the house doing car repairs, so it was mostly me and Kate on our own. We just got a Hulu/Disney/Max bundle so we could have access to all the shows the baby likes, so I actually had a chance to catch up on a few things I'd fallen behind on. Watched the entire final season of Handmaid's Tale, which felt like it had a lot of filler and repeated conversations, but was fairly satisfying overall. Got to watch the new episode of The Gilded Age as it aired, which was a nice change.
Had various strange dreams on Friday night that resulted in me waking up craving French toast, so I made a big batch of it for breakfast, which was a nice treat. It heated up the house something awful, though, which is going to be something we're going to be fighting for the next several months if the new complex management doesn't get off their ass and fix our AC.
Girl Genius for Monday, June 30, 2025
Jun. 30th, 2025 04:00 amgirlgenius_main_feedSunday Sweets: 4th of July Fireworks!
Jun. 29th, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feedHappy almost July, fellow Sweets lovers!
With America's Independence Day coming up this week, you know I had to find some pretty red, white, and blue numbers:
(By Sugar Hero, who has a complete tutorial on her site)
Plus this one has a drool-worthy surprise inside!
WOWIE. Our flag has never looked more delicious.
And look how sweet this old-fashioned bunting is:
(By Wild Orchid Baking Company in New Hampshire, now closed)
Ahhh, but I have some goodies for my non-American friends, too. Check it out, rainbow fireworks!
(By Victorious Cupcakes in the UK)
So pretty! I like the abstract take on them, and the silhouettes are perfect.
I love the way Glory (yes, her name is Glory!) took these ice cream cookies:
...and stacked them to look like triple-deckers!
(By Glorious Treats, online only)
SO CUTE.
Oooh, I may have spoken too soon on that last flag cake; this one ALSO looks darn tasty:
(By For Goodness Cakes in Charlotte, NC)
I'm loving the thick textured buttercream on top; can't you just FEEL that crunching ever-so-slightly, then melting in your mouth?
Ooof, I really want some cake now.
Hang on, here comes another one that's not helping:
(By b. sweet dessert boutique, online only)
Alllll the grabby hands. Gimmie.
Of course I couldn't pass up a chance to feature another Captain America cake, right?
(By Chocomoo Cakes in Sheffield, inspired by Mighty Mugs)
Look how clean and perfect that fondant work is! So good.
Now, let's end this post with a bang:
(By Adrienne & Company Bakery in Jeffersonville, IN)
Fireworks cake! I love all those bright neon colors together.
This one looks like an oil painting:
(By Katja Seaton in the UK)
Look how the fireworks spill over the edge:
I think that's my favorite part; the way the fallout looks so shimmery near the bottom.
Big finale!
(Baker unknown; Google Image Search has failed me. Anyone recognize it?)
Simple, but wow does that pack a punch.
Happy Sunday, everyone!
*****
P.S. Need a cool gift for the person who has everything? Then how about a card that transforms into a bouquet:
Fresh Cut Paper Pop-Up Flowers
I sent this one to my Mom for her birthday last month, and it looks just like this! Even better, it ships free with Prime, so no extra postage needed.
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
(no subject)
Jun. 27th, 2025 12:52 pmm_of_disguise-One more wash out of the corded petticoat, a proper starching with chemical starch
-Add the grommets to the 1830s stays
-Take out the 16thC loose kirtle and see what needs fixing (I know the hem is horrendous and the armholes are unfinished, at the very least)
-Figure out what I'm doing for Baronial College in September
Baronial College may be the last event I get to this year, so I'd really like to make it. I'll also be heavily pregnant again, so the loose gown and loose kirtle will get another wearing. Huzzah!
The loose kirtle needs some fixing up, but the gown is pretty much good to go. I'm toying with the idea of making new sleeves for it. I had originally wanted hanging sleeves for it, but I was in a major time crunch when I made it, so just went with the Tudor Tailor sleeves, which pushed the style back to the first half of the 16thC. I usually do last quarter, so I'd probably get more wear out of it if I changed out the sleeves.
I'd also like to have an actual shift, as well as a new headdress. I'm leaning toward the heart-shaped bonnet with bongrace from the Tudor Tailor.
We'll see what time permits!