Chaucer in Text Message

Pardoner's Tale, Lines 135-160

Prdnr's Tl Lns 135-60

1nce upn a tme, 'n Flndrz
thr wuz a man
a yng prsn tht prcticd flly
bcme n'ged w/tvrnz, gmblng, & whorehousez
lystning 2 hrpz, lutz, & gtrz
thy dncd & plyd w.dice 24/7
thy als. Eat, hwevr drnk 2 much
thy do bd thngs
whn thy r n the mndset of dng bd
hz vwz & cmmitmnts wre obvi.
hwevr when he wld swr it hrt r earz
he wuz kllng us by dng ths
evry1 els jst rofl'd
& l8r on cntn'd 2 wtch grlz dnc
thy wre prtty & sm.
at the prty thr wuz a frt sllr sngr w/hrpz
prostiez. & cak vndrz
thy all wrkd w/the dev.
the fyr wuz lit
& ppl wre eating
OMG! Hw is ths hppning?!
Ppl r dng crzy sht b/c ther drunk
Thr is a man lying by his dghtrs bt he iz soooo drnk that he dozn't kno it's thm!