That was only a week of my life...oof
Mar. 6th, 2023 09:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ianukSo work was nuts before I went on PTO. Friday got there and on my morning call I said I was having problems with my sight. I stated "I can't see myself working past noon" which was fine since I had to pack and do laundry and things. It was very nice to take things slow though so even though I was panicking it was a slow panic. We got up at 4am and to the airport for our 6am flight and it was all fine. We made our connection and our gate was right next door to our landing gate. We got to SF and I texted Rob and Becca. They were getting some gloves etc for the boys and then got picked up, played suitcase tetris. BTW, the Pacifica has way less space than my Grand Caravan. We got lunch at Taco johns and then to the house. We had issues getting the water working again. But the local water folks were awesome and helped us figure that out. Becca and I did the grocery shopping and made it easy for use to make dinner that night. Or well for Mel to make dinner. Rob did the dishes. The boys were ecstatic to be able to play in the snow. They dug fox holes and built walls and just had a good time playing in the snow until it got too cold. Sunday we started working on clearing out closets and doing some other shopping. Mom had clothes she had not worn that were $300+ dollar silk Anne Taylor suits she got for less than $10 at Macy's/Daytons. She had an entire dresser full of new socks. She had a closet full of creams and hair stuff and like unopened. Wow. Luckily, the family (Me, Becca, Mel and Rob) had all done the clean out at Grandma Doodles. We have a rapport and a way of doing things that gets all of teh snark but this time we all knew the clothes mom wore or things we found and it was special. I know that doing it by myself that would have not worked well. Rob was awesome and got a load to goodwill taken while we were out on Monday. Sundy was just general things around the house and we got visited by Aaron and Ali.
Mel and I met with the funeral home and the church. It worked well and we got things settled for the funeral and the funeral director John was so pleasant. I had brought the kit from Eterneva. He would return it at the funeral all filled and ready for Mel and I to send off. We still need to decide what stones we are getting. But One will be a ring and the other will be a solitaire stone necklace. yes its spendy but well, I might as well. I've inherited things and she loved the idea of being a gem. We got groceries and hit Ace and did a few other errands before we got home. We had Ellis visit for the afternoon and that was so nice to catch up.
Tuesday Gretchen and I attempted to get the land stuff taken care of and the bank is reading the wills with a very conservative approach. We are trying to get ahold of the original executor for her dad's estate and I will talk with Tom. So that was a bust. Got home in time for mel to get his suit on and me to put on makeup. Gretchen was awesome with getting the luncheon. All of the boys, including Paige and GRetchen's played foos ball in teh church. The service was good. Pastor Chris did a nice sermon about mom. Sue's speaking was good and I'd forgotten some of the stories. I got a recording of it all including my
Hi, I’m Jennifer Nelson Kemp, Cynthia’s daughter, and her primary caretaker after she was diagnosed with metastatic stage four lung cancer in December 2021. She had to be put on a feeding tube because the cancer had frozen her ability to swallow and after 10 full brain radiation treatments, she needed full time care when she came home. She could barely walk, she was only sleeping during the daytime, she could not do her own hygiene. Being her caretaker was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and I think it was one of the hardest things she had to do to let herself be taken care of. I made it 3 months, with nighttime help a few times a week but we moved mom to Tucson in March of last year to better care. We got in the habit of Sunday morning breakfasts out and home cooked meals at our house. There were many trips to doctors, radiation treatments, infusions for her bones and lab tests, scans etc. It was a rough year for all of us but her last few weeks were comfortable and she had my small family with her to almost the end. We visited her on Boxing Day and while she didn’t respond to us we gave her our love and we got the call when we got home (a short 4 miles away) that she had passed. I will admit that I don’t know my mom as well as her close friends probably do, we did not have that kind of mother daughter relationship, but I have some tidbits that you may or may not know about Cindy:
Things that people may or may not know about my Mom:
1) She loved to go out for breakfast, especially pancakes with crispy bacon and with more syrup than was probably healthy
2) She loved her hotdogs blackened
3) She loved animals, especially cats to the point of being a good crazy cat lady
4) She loved the Hallmark movie channel
5) She loved jewels and gemstones like a dragon
6) She loved the show Supernatural to the point of being a fangirl
7) She was not the best cook, but she could bake wonderful rhubarb pie
8) She loved to mow her lawn, all 4.4 acres of it on her super keen zero turning radius kobota
9) She was an absolute shark at pool and snooker much to Jerry’s surprise
10) She hated chicken. I did not know this until this last year
11) She could find the best bargains everywhere she went from clothes to cars
12) She could type faster than computers could keep up with until the early 2000s
13) She was a meticulous housekeeper; you never knew she had 14 cats at one time
14) She could operate manual as well as complicated computerized switchboards
15) She loved a good beer and a cheeseburger
16) She could remember phone numbers and people’s voices by hearing them say ‘hello’
17) She sacrificed a lot in her life versus her personal happiness
18) She thought herself not intelligent
19) She never believed in her abilities
My mom was a boomer by generation and raised a latch-key Gen X kid. She was a product of the 1940s and if she hadn’t made the leap to divorce and marry a service man from South Dakota she would have probably just been the perfect 1960s housewife. But she took a risk, and while the second marriage did not work out, it did let her experience other things she may not have done in Missouri. She met her best friends Sue and Diane. She married a wonderful man in Jerry, and they made a wonderful home and property for themselves with the cats. She welcomed all the Grandchildren between Jerry’s daughters, my son, and my nephews from my married-into family.
So, from some light notes to remember her by:
1) “Her cat” Elliot liked to be vacuumed. How did she figure this out? He was being a cat and he would not move off the love seat, so she took the furniture attachment and just vacuumed him. He rolled over and purred for more. He’s the only cat I’ve seen who allows this, but she got this pampered Persian.
2) My mom is a pyro, no really. Fire seen from Space with Mel
3) Binky story with Benton
4) The rhubarb pie story – Canister Issue
5) Her fox visiting
I hope I’ve given you some highlights to remember my mom and keep her in your thoughts and remember all the fun and wacky times we had with her. She will be missed by many.
Then we headed out into the very cold snowy weather to do the graveside service. Her ashes were interred with a cross that she had been given by Diane. It was a quick service and Benton had a bit of breakdown at the end which I completely understand. I was teary too. I don't think I ever looked at her shared gravestone with Jerry but he side had cats on it. Benton got lots of hugs and I told him i was so proud of him and how well he did. This is his first real loss and we spent time talking about it before I noticed we had all of the college crewe show up. Aaron and Ali, Chris and Karla, and Kim and Zane.
We got down to the luncheon and I quickly ate while I chatted with my Aunt Shirley and Aunt Linda. I did learn that my mom's first husband was best friends with my Dad her second husband....huh. That was interesting to note. I knew something had happened to get mom to divorce her first husband and come back to the states to marry my dad but wow....that was crazy. I then mingled with everyone and chatted and part of her funeral we had put out angels for folks to take from her collection and people loved that. It made me very happy to give people a momento to remember her by.
After the luncheon we headed back to the house and the college crew followed. WE had food and talking and the kids played downstairs in the family room there. One thing we will be buying for the house is more couches/love seats and chairs for the dining room. But I think we have a plan for our dacha aka summer house. It was very nice to have folks over and see people and relax. I did go to bed pretty early...I was just so plum tired. I slept way in on Wednesday which is when the blizzard was in full effect and then I took a 2 hour nap. I was tired. Emotionally exhasted etc. I felt like a lump but Mel, Becca and Rob were like...dude, relax...we got this. Thursday Rob was able to get out and snowblow after we figured out you had to plug it in to start it. lol. Thanks mom! But he and I got out to run the plethora of errands. 5 towns, 4 banks, the courthouse, the lawyer, goodwill drop off, and truck service. oof. The roads in the county were fine, the roads in Canton/Alcester and Beresford were fine. The main roads in Sioux falls were weird. And secondary/tertiary roads were dicey. Was glad I still have the knack for driving vehicles on snow...every great big trucks with no weight in the back. We took the interstate back and that was good cause it proved that the oil road wasn't going to be good for Becca and Rob to take to get to the airport on Friday morning.
It took a bunch to get us all packed. I kept forgetting I wasn't packing for a flight and we got things settled and folks got out the door about 930am, we stopped off in Beresford for gas and to drop off a tax form. And then we were on the road. The roads were really good and we stopped seeing snow as we got into Kansas. At that point we started angling towards the SW. We ended up in Dodge City for dinner and then pushed on to Amarillo, TX. Got into the holiday inn express at 1130 and were up and moving and on the road by 745am. We were tired but that was okay. Stopped in Alamagordo NM to see the World's Largest Pistachio and grab lunch. We got home in Tucson about 530pm and that was great. We had pizza for dinner and weren't up late.
So that was our trip....it took me days to write that up and then the work week was nuts and then we had a huge SCA event and road washout drama etc. But that is another post.
Mel and I met with the funeral home and the church. It worked well and we got things settled for the funeral and the funeral director John was so pleasant. I had brought the kit from Eterneva. He would return it at the funeral all filled and ready for Mel and I to send off. We still need to decide what stones we are getting. But One will be a ring and the other will be a solitaire stone necklace. yes its spendy but well, I might as well. I've inherited things and she loved the idea of being a gem. We got groceries and hit Ace and did a few other errands before we got home. We had Ellis visit for the afternoon and that was so nice to catch up.
Tuesday Gretchen and I attempted to get the land stuff taken care of and the bank is reading the wills with a very conservative approach. We are trying to get ahold of the original executor for her dad's estate and I will talk with Tom. So that was a bust. Got home in time for mel to get his suit on and me to put on makeup. Gretchen was awesome with getting the luncheon. All of the boys, including Paige and GRetchen's played foos ball in teh church. The service was good. Pastor Chris did a nice sermon about mom. Sue's speaking was good and I'd forgotten some of the stories. I got a recording of it all including my
Hi, I’m Jennifer Nelson Kemp, Cynthia’s daughter, and her primary caretaker after she was diagnosed with metastatic stage four lung cancer in December 2021. She had to be put on a feeding tube because the cancer had frozen her ability to swallow and after 10 full brain radiation treatments, she needed full time care when she came home. She could barely walk, she was only sleeping during the daytime, she could not do her own hygiene. Being her caretaker was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and I think it was one of the hardest things she had to do to let herself be taken care of. I made it 3 months, with nighttime help a few times a week but we moved mom to Tucson in March of last year to better care. We got in the habit of Sunday morning breakfasts out and home cooked meals at our house. There were many trips to doctors, radiation treatments, infusions for her bones and lab tests, scans etc. It was a rough year for all of us but her last few weeks were comfortable and she had my small family with her to almost the end. We visited her on Boxing Day and while she didn’t respond to us we gave her our love and we got the call when we got home (a short 4 miles away) that she had passed. I will admit that I don’t know my mom as well as her close friends probably do, we did not have that kind of mother daughter relationship, but I have some tidbits that you may or may not know about Cindy:
Things that people may or may not know about my Mom:
1) She loved to go out for breakfast, especially pancakes with crispy bacon and with more syrup than was probably healthy
2) She loved her hotdogs blackened
3) She loved animals, especially cats to the point of being a good crazy cat lady
4) She loved the Hallmark movie channel
5) She loved jewels and gemstones like a dragon
6) She loved the show Supernatural to the point of being a fangirl
7) She was not the best cook, but she could bake wonderful rhubarb pie
8) She loved to mow her lawn, all 4.4 acres of it on her super keen zero turning radius kobota
9) She was an absolute shark at pool and snooker much to Jerry’s surprise
10) She hated chicken. I did not know this until this last year
11) She could find the best bargains everywhere she went from clothes to cars
12) She could type faster than computers could keep up with until the early 2000s
13) She was a meticulous housekeeper; you never knew she had 14 cats at one time
14) She could operate manual as well as complicated computerized switchboards
15) She loved a good beer and a cheeseburger
16) She could remember phone numbers and people’s voices by hearing them say ‘hello’
17) She sacrificed a lot in her life versus her personal happiness
18) She thought herself not intelligent
19) She never believed in her abilities
My mom was a boomer by generation and raised a latch-key Gen X kid. She was a product of the 1940s and if she hadn’t made the leap to divorce and marry a service man from South Dakota she would have probably just been the perfect 1960s housewife. But she took a risk, and while the second marriage did not work out, it did let her experience other things she may not have done in Missouri. She met her best friends Sue and Diane. She married a wonderful man in Jerry, and they made a wonderful home and property for themselves with the cats. She welcomed all the Grandchildren between Jerry’s daughters, my son, and my nephews from my married-into family.
So, from some light notes to remember her by:
1) “Her cat” Elliot liked to be vacuumed. How did she figure this out? He was being a cat and he would not move off the love seat, so she took the furniture attachment and just vacuumed him. He rolled over and purred for more. He’s the only cat I’ve seen who allows this, but she got this pampered Persian.
2) My mom is a pyro, no really. Fire seen from Space with Mel
3) Binky story with Benton
4) The rhubarb pie story – Canister Issue
5) Her fox visiting
I hope I’ve given you some highlights to remember my mom and keep her in your thoughts and remember all the fun and wacky times we had with her. She will be missed by many.
Then we headed out into the very cold snowy weather to do the graveside service. Her ashes were interred with a cross that she had been given by Diane. It was a quick service and Benton had a bit of breakdown at the end which I completely understand. I was teary too. I don't think I ever looked at her shared gravestone with Jerry but he side had cats on it. Benton got lots of hugs and I told him i was so proud of him and how well he did. This is his first real loss and we spent time talking about it before I noticed we had all of the college crewe show up. Aaron and Ali, Chris and Karla, and Kim and Zane.
We got down to the luncheon and I quickly ate while I chatted with my Aunt Shirley and Aunt Linda. I did learn that my mom's first husband was best friends with my Dad her second husband....huh. That was interesting to note. I knew something had happened to get mom to divorce her first husband and come back to the states to marry my dad but wow....that was crazy. I then mingled with everyone and chatted and part of her funeral we had put out angels for folks to take from her collection and people loved that. It made me very happy to give people a momento to remember her by.
After the luncheon we headed back to the house and the college crew followed. WE had food and talking and the kids played downstairs in the family room there. One thing we will be buying for the house is more couches/love seats and chairs for the dining room. But I think we have a plan for our dacha aka summer house. It was very nice to have folks over and see people and relax. I did go to bed pretty early...I was just so plum tired. I slept way in on Wednesday which is when the blizzard was in full effect and then I took a 2 hour nap. I was tired. Emotionally exhasted etc. I felt like a lump but Mel, Becca and Rob were like...dude, relax...we got this. Thursday Rob was able to get out and snowblow after we figured out you had to plug it in to start it. lol. Thanks mom! But he and I got out to run the plethora of errands. 5 towns, 4 banks, the courthouse, the lawyer, goodwill drop off, and truck service. oof. The roads in the county were fine, the roads in Canton/Alcester and Beresford were fine. The main roads in Sioux falls were weird. And secondary/tertiary roads were dicey. Was glad I still have the knack for driving vehicles on snow...every great big trucks with no weight in the back. We took the interstate back and that was good cause it proved that the oil road wasn't going to be good for Becca and Rob to take to get to the airport on Friday morning.
It took a bunch to get us all packed. I kept forgetting I wasn't packing for a flight and we got things settled and folks got out the door about 930am, we stopped off in Beresford for gas and to drop off a tax form. And then we were on the road. The roads were really good and we stopped seeing snow as we got into Kansas. At that point we started angling towards the SW. We ended up in Dodge City for dinner and then pushed on to Amarillo, TX. Got into the holiday inn express at 1130 and were up and moving and on the road by 745am. We were tired but that was okay. Stopped in Alamagordo NM to see the World's Largest Pistachio and grab lunch. We got home in Tucson about 530pm and that was great. We had pizza for dinner and weren't up late.
So that was our trip....it took me days to write that up and then the work week was nuts and then we had a huge SCA event and road washout drama etc. But that is another post.
