Last week my brain was pretty happy, I hit the gym, I slept well, I got some things done...things were clicking and Friday (our off day) was a nice start to a weekend. We had breakfast with mom and someone at the cafe paid for our breakfast which was nice. I walked with mom in. We didn't use her chair since I figured it was good for her to walk which in the morning she is more than happy to do. We then got her into the car and then off to target where we did the shopping for Benton and the nephews from Mom. She had a fun time shopping and was super happy that we also got her two nice fluffy fleecy tops to wear since she is always so cold.(more on that later.)

So we dropped her off and then did a bit of meandering around our local antique mall before I got my hair cut. First hair cut since 2020. My bangs were at the end of my hair which is almost to my low back. I got a few long layers to get the weight off the front. It looks nice straight and curly. I do not need to use a barrette at all to control the front...just chuck it to the side or behind my ear. Very nice.

So I had two more errands to run while I was out and about on Friday. I hit up the quilt basket to get backing material and thick thread for the quilt my Grandma Ruth made in the 50s. lferion had walked me through the plan and I got those in the wash when I got home. I also headed to Grandma's to do a bit of knitting and got a phone call that mom had fallen at her care home. She was okay and they gave her pain meds and an ice pack. And I didn't think much of it until I got a phone call at 730 that her leg was not working right and she was in the worst pain. So they transported her to St. Joe's emergency room as a trauma and got her assessed. After about 2.5 hours I was allowed to come back with her and find out what was going on. What I was first told is she had a high femur fracture. Then they finally stated it was a hip fracture and they would talk with the surgeon in the AM. She was still in the ER and had a "room" there since they could not admit her since they didn't have a bed.

I left her resting and returned very early in the AM (Sat) since I got a 6am phone call from admitting. What I didn't know was that is was my friend from the SCA Kitty Kat and when I arrived at check-in in the ER there she was and I get the best hug. They then moved mom to another room where I got to talk to the surgery team and go over things frankly in the hallway about her risks for surgery and care and that she was in hospice care until she fell. Basically it was better to operate and get her joint useable since it would decrease pain and allow her to be cared for hygienically etc. So I sat and waited with her while she rested and had very confused nursing staff that she was 1 in the bed she was and 2 that she was having surgery since things were messed up. But finally got the go ahead for surgery and she was wheeled into pre-op at 1245pm. I signed all of the consent forms etc and got her settled with things with the anesthesia. Then I headed home to check on Benton who was home by himself while Mel was as Baronial A&S. He was good, I got food and then headed back to sit in the OR waiting room. I had knitting and coffee and oreos plus short stories on my phone. I sat for a few hours and then the surgeon came out to chat with me. He had finished up and they were in clo sing her up. She did good and he was very happy with how she did in surgrery. The bone just crumble when he opened her up so the cancer and the arthritis there were doing a number. I was very happy he sat with me for a bit. Then the anesthesiologist came by and chatted as well and he was also super nice. They were getting her settled in recovery and the nurse called me to say he would have me come back when she was waking up which took a while. It was two nurses and mom in this huge recovery room. No other patients. I got to see her and convince her she wanted some ice chips. I gave her kisses and then headed home to drink and have dinner. I figured out mel makes drinks half the strength I do. LOL

I was in bed by 930 and out...I was so tired. I got up early and Mel and I headed in to see her and check on her. She was eating breakfast. She was very very confused about everything and this continued through wednesday. Plus she had no idea when she had to use the bathroom and didn't want to walk and then would complain they weren't letting her walk and I wasn't visiting....even though I was spending 5+hours a day with her. Yeah, her brain is scrambled and its a toss up of if its the anesthesia induced memory issues, her declining more or a mix. So yeah. She finally walked a bit but she's so weak from anemia (they gave her a blood transfusion) and being only 89 pounds and stage 4 cancer. The thing was teh floor doctors wanted her discharged to a rehab hospital which I felt wasn't good but wasn't sure what to do. Finally had a call with her care home and the the discharge nurse and had a frank convo. If mom went to rehab she would have 2 hours at most of rehab and then crappy care after that per day. Which is shitty and not the care she needs end of life. We got the doctors to fix her paperwork to take her back to assisted living and allow her back into hospice. That and getting her transported took most of the day. We got her settled and got back home and I started working at 4pm. To say this has been nuts and exhausting is beyond comprehension to me. I hate this.

Now its almost impossible to transport her cause she can't climb into the van and she can't sit in my car since her knee is too high for her new hip. She can't do anything that moves that hip more than 90 degrees and my sports car doesnt' work with that. So we will probably have to bring christmas to her. We will make it happen...I just have no idea how long she will be here now. She is so weak.

So even through all of this I have hit the gym Monday and Wednesday. I PR'd on deadlift of 255 last night. Candace things I've done it better before but I'm not sure. I don't remember. Edit: found my tracker from 2019, I did 265x4 as my last set that day. So I'm not too far off from where I was...I'm older and chunkier now but I'll keep working on that and the gym is my self care. I need to do it. No slacking.

I'm also trying to be good with drinking as well. even with the "binge" of saturday/sunday I am still lower drinks per week than I had been so little steps. Trying to get down to casual and not needed and lighter than I had been. Little steps. So my last week of work for the year is next week. I'm just tired and so tempted to just not be here next week and take vacation. I could do it....I have it to spend but the end of the year stuff is just there. Sighs. Still need to think about it. I don't think anyone would fault me.

On the book front I read #40 for the year and then I went down the short story rabbit hole from Seanan McGuire on the Incryptid series I hadn't read. I'm counting these as one book so #41 is a combo of: Blocked #2.1, The Ghosts of Bourbon Street Incrytid #3.1, Swamp Bromeliad #3.4, Waking up in Vegas #3.5, My Last Name #3.6. Then I am about a third through "That Ain't Witchcraft" which is book #8 in the series. So I've been entertained. We need to figure out fixing up the house for xmas. The tree is done and I have a mountain of wrapping to do. My final shopping will be at the street fair this weekend and hoepfully I can set the house to rights...its kinda special right now.

So this is a lot and yeah I'd really like to mulligan Friday afternoon when she fell. Our lives would be so much simpler.

 I realized on Friday while I was reorganizing my studio to turn it into a cozy SCA interview space that I've been way too busy and my brain was just off. I had time off the gym due to spring break and my gym owner going to the cabin up north...so my need to leave the house was low. I was not volunteering this weekend to give Mel time to volunteer which he did and he got his vaccine.  So I realized I could rest and get done like two things I needed to which was make a birthday cake and hit the grocer.

So Friday we did an interview with TRM Morgan and Elizabeth which is now on YT. youtu.be/SObIJ7uiCL8 It was a fun time. We chatted a bit to start with and then after we turned off the recording.  Miss them so much.

Saturday was nice and relaxed. Benton and I watched TV and hung out. I made his cake but as I will describe it wasn't perfect but it was edible.  He wanted one I could eat and picked coconut cake. I tried a recipe I've never done and well you get what you get.  Due to us being interviewed I was too tired and strung out to watch Falcon and the Winter Soldier's first episode.  I'm expecting to be disappointed so I started re-reading my fave fic which is long and lovely and full of feels and I got lost reading most of Saturday.  The Story is the Ice and Fire series archiveofourown.org/works/1999119/chapters/4331559 .  Its super good and I love it. Such a good take.  I am also reading through Blue Eyed Boys and all of the other linked fic at archiveofourown.org/series/107477

Those two stories are polar opposites of TWS take so be warned but both are so good.  

Anyhoo...I was in my head a lot this weekend. The fact that I now have a 10 year old (as of yesterday) and all of the feels and hormonal stuff that goes with it.  My body has been weird lately thus me taking time to rest and recharge.  

So the birthday cake was over done but good flavor and I attempted to make coolwhip frosting with oat milk and cocowhip and it didnt' work. Its a really good sauce for the dry cake though so all good.  

Benton got spoiled by his dad with new metal working tools, legos from his grandma ellen, books from his cousins, a imaginator undead crystal and some legos from us and a new lego mug.  That mug is important.

We all sat and watched Johny Quest while Mel made pizza and it was a nice night.  Monday dawned early and my brain had me up but I refused to get out of bed. Got going on work stuff to hear my dear husband swearing loudly with the little boy....who had just upended his coffee onto his laptop.  Yes, Benton drinks coffee...it does help with the ADHD.  He was showing his class his new mug and forgot that it held liquid.  

I got the laptop, we got towels on it and I sprayed out as much excess liquid as I could.  But it wouldn't turn back on.  Okay, charged it tried to get it to switch to the screen on the tv....but finally after a bit I got it to partially boot.  Found a YT site that said you have to hold 2 buttons to fully reset and its now running.  But it was crazy.  And my work computer was being and asshat, the cats were being well, cats and yeah.  I finally got a second cuppa at 1030 and breakfast..I had birthday cake.  I hope the rest of the week is not the same.