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Friday ended the rollercoaster week of hell with a margarita the size of my head and more when I got home. We had dinner with Ari at Guadalajara Grill which was nice and kinda more symmetry I needed since that was where we went when I got back to Tucson in March. But it was what I needed. Got home and Benton headed off to bed while we made drinks and I had too much...not stoopid but I was tired and my brain turned off and I sent to bed at 930pm. I did not wake up in time for hitting the gym and that was okay. I needed to sleep and rest and just not be for a while. I visited mom for a bit and then picked up Ari for the Street Fair. We ended up parking at the Tyndall Garage and walking to the site 5 long blocks away. ITs just easier. We started at pretty much the top of the fair and then got settled into a bar spot at Magpies for food and beer. It was so nice to bum around with Ari and get things on our lists. She found a lovely jacket, I got a nice necklace at Silver Sea and found the best gift for Mel. He will like it I hope. I got home and mel was in the shop with Kung Fu mike working on his walking stick and Benton was taking a nap. He was not feeling good. I was tired and just sat watching TV. I don't recall the rest of the evening. I know Mel and I finished up season 5 of Clone Wars and started Season 6. OMG why did we not know any of this.

Sunday I went and saw mom and she was really spacy and was at least up and sitting at the table but her fine motor control is slipping. Its very hard to watch. I picked up Ari for a costco trip and had a nice time going there with her. I hate going to Costco by myself and another human made it so nice. Then I had my massage and got home after a quick trip to Safeway and checking in on mom. She was no better. Very tired and asleep.

At home I got Benton to help me put all of the xmas boxes away until things are settled for that . He was feeling somewhat better but we made sure he got a hot bath and to bed early. Mel and I then put things on TV and got presents wrapped. I have stuff to ship to wrap and stuff for Mel and a few things coming in still. But that helped me a lot. Plus it blocked access to the xmas tree skirt that Tasha has been balling up and snuggling under.

Monday was busy at work. This is the last week of work for me. Mom had called during the day and wanted to see me and I said I would see her after work. When I stopped by she had had breakfast out and about but didnt want dinner. She had not recollection of stating this at all. They brought her a meal and I sat her up so she could eat and it was obvious she can't really feed herself any longer. I got her to eat but had to basically feed her and remind her to swallow. She would just check on the same piece of food for minutes if I didn't. She had thought I left her in a nursing home in South Dakota. Sighs. She's scared and confused and thinks she's losing her mind. Which she is. I think she is scared of dying but I'm not mentioning it. But every day I see her slowing down more.

We shall see what I see tonight when I visit. I got to the gym about 15 mins late but I needed the self care/stress relief. Then it was home for a nice dinner and working on performance reviews. Benton was home sick yesterday but was doing better by the evening. I have a lot to work on for work. But its okay. Just taking things day by day.

On the book front. Finished number 42 "That Ain't Witchcraft" which was awesome. I started #43 which is "Imaginary Numbers" which lets us be with Cousin Sarah of the Price clan...she's fun. I have 2 more books in this series to be caught up which will be books 44 and 45. I will be very close to getting the 50 this year. Which makes me happy. I guess that is something.

Last week my brain was pretty happy, I hit the gym, I slept well, I got some things done...things were clicking and Friday (our off day) was a nice start to a weekend. We had breakfast with mom and someone at the cafe paid for our breakfast which was nice. I walked with mom in. We didn't use her chair since I figured it was good for her to walk which in the morning she is more than happy to do. We then got her into the car and then off to target where we did the shopping for Benton and the nephews from Mom. She had a fun time shopping and was super happy that we also got her two nice fluffy fleecy tops to wear since she is always so cold.(more on that later.)

So we dropped her off and then did a bit of meandering around our local antique mall before I got my hair cut. First hair cut since 2020. My bangs were at the end of my hair which is almost to my low back. I got a few long layers to get the weight off the front. It looks nice straight and curly. I do not need to use a barrette at all to control the front...just chuck it to the side or behind my ear. Very nice.

So I had two more errands to run while I was out and about on Friday. I hit up the quilt basket to get backing material and thick thread for the quilt my Grandma Ruth made in the 50s.

lferion had walked me through the plan and I got those in the wash when I got home. I also headed to Grandma's to do a bit of knitting and got a phone call that mom had fallen at her care home. She was okay and they gave her pain meds and an ice pack. And I didn't think much of it until I got a phone call at 730 that her leg was not working right and she was in the worst pain. So they transported her to St. Joe's emergency room as a trauma and got her assessed. After about 2.5 hours I was allowed to come back with her and find out what was going on. What I was first told is she had a high femur fracture. Then they finally stated it was a hip fracture and they would talk with the surgeon in the AM. She was still in the ER and had a "room" there since they could not admit her since they didn't have a bed.

I left her resting and returned very early in the AM (Sat) since I got a 6am phone call from admitting. What I didn't know was that is was my friend from the SCA Kitty Kat and when I arrived at check-in in the ER there she was and I get the best hug. They then moved mom to another room where I got to talk to the surgery team and go over things frankly in the hallway about her risks for surgery and care and that she was in hospice care until she fell. Basically it was better to operate and get her joint useable since it would decrease pain and allow her to be cared for hygienically etc. So I sat and waited with her while she rested and had very confused nursing staff that she was 1 in the bed she was and 2 that she was having surgery since things were messed up. But finally got the go ahead for surgery and she was wheeled into pre-op at 1245pm. I signed all of the consent forms etc and got her settled with things with the anesthesia. Then I headed home to check on Benton who was home by himself while Mel was as Baronial A&S. He was good, I got food and then headed back to sit in the OR waiting room. I had knitting and coffee and oreos plus short stories on my phone. I sat for a few hours and then the surgeon came out to chat with me. He had finished up and they were in clo sing her up. She did good and he was very happy with how she did in surgrery. The bone just crumble when he opened her up so the cancer and the arthritis there were doing a number. I was very happy he sat with me for a bit. Then the anesthesiologist came by and chatted as well and he was also super nice. They were getting her settled in recovery and the nurse called me to say he would have me come back when she was waking up which took a while. It was two nurses and mom in this huge recovery room. No other patients. I got to see her and convince her she wanted some ice chips. I gave her kisses and then headed home to drink and have dinner. I figured out mel makes drinks half the strength I do. LOL

I was in bed by 930 and out...I was so tired. I got up early and Mel and I headed in to see her and check on her. She was eating breakfast. She was very very confused about everything and this continued through wednesday. Plus she had no idea when she had to use the bathroom and didn't want to walk and then would complain they weren't letting her walk and I wasn't visiting....even though I was spending 5+hours a day with her. Yeah, her brain is scrambled and its a toss up of if its the anesthesia induced memory issues, her declining more or a mix. So yeah. She finally walked a bit but she's so weak from anemia (they gave her a blood transfusion) and being only 89 pounds and stage 4 cancer. The thing was teh floor doctors wanted her discharged to a rehab hospital which I felt wasn't good but wasn't sure what to do. Finally had a call with her care home and the the discharge nurse and had a frank convo. If mom went to rehab she would have 2 hours at most of rehab and then crappy care after that per day. Which is shitty and not the care she needs end of life. We got the doctors to fix her paperwork to take her back to assisted living and allow her back into hospice. That and getting her transported took most of the day. We got her settled and got back home and I started working at 4pm. To say this has been nuts and exhausting is beyond comprehension to me. I hate this.

Now its almost impossible to transport her cause she can't climb into the van and she can't sit in my car since her knee is too high for her new hip. She can't do anything that moves that hip more than 90 degrees and my sports car doesnt' work with that. So we will probably have to bring christmas to her. We will make it happen...I just have no idea how long she will be here now. She is so weak.

So even through all of this I have hit the gym Monday and Wednesday. I PR'd on deadlift of 255 last night. Candace things I've done it better before but I'm not sure. I don't remember. Edit: found my tracker from 2019, I did 265x4 as my last set that day. So I'm not too far off from where I was...I'm older and chunkier now but I'll keep working on that and the gym is my self care. I need to do it. No slacking.

I'm also trying to be good with drinking as well. even with the "binge" of saturday/sunday I am still lower drinks per week than I had been so little steps. Trying to get down to casual and not needed and lighter than I had been. Little steps. So my last week of work for the year is next week. I'm just tired and so tempted to just not be here next week and take vacation. I could do it....I have it to spend but the end of the year stuff is just there. Sighs. Still need to think about it. I don't think anyone would fault me.

On the book front I read #40 for the year and then I went down the short story rabbit hole from Seanan McGuire on the Incryptid series I hadn't read. I'm counting these as one book so #41 is a combo of: Blocked #2.1, The Ghosts of Bourbon Street Incrytid #3.1, Swamp Bromeliad #3.4, Waking up in Vegas #3.5, My Last Name #3.6. Then I am about a third through "That Ain't Witchcraft" which is book #8 in the series. So I've been entertained. We need to figure out fixing up the house for xmas. The tree is done and I have a mountain of wrapping to do. My final shopping will be at the street fair this weekend and hoepfully I can set the house to rights...its kinda special right now.

So this is a lot and yeah I'd really like to mulligan Friday afternoon when she fell. Our lives would be so much simpler.

With the last post I was heading towards the holiday and trying to be prepared. I was freaking out and trying to do a lot ahead to not be crazy but my brain was having fritzes where I just couldn't begin. But I took Wednesday off and I turned my anxiety into productivity with a list and things and got it done. I only had the green bean casserole to finish on Thursday...Mel had the turkey going finally but it was a weird morning cause the smoker refused to go to high and he had to replace the regulator and that was good. We still had to finish it off in the roaster but it was tasty and good. Luckily he was feeling better after being death warmed over. Ari came over early which was nice for my sanity. We got things settled and then mom blew up my phone...I think she thought we forgot her. She forgot that we had agreed at 1pm...she was hounding at noon. I had to explain that in the SW versus the midwest we arrive on time or 5 minutes past...not 30 mins early. But I got her picked up and we had a really nice meal. Benton was off...he was feeling overwhelmed and not social. I get that. He had some food and then retreated to his room to read. Its okay.

Mom was really alert and we had a nice time. She only stayed about 3 hours which was okay but I would have liked longer but I think she was worried if she had to go to the bathroom that she would have an accident like she had before. I don't know it was odd. Got her home and then came back to have drinks and relax truly for the first time in a week. Btw all of the food was perfect. All of my pies jelled and were tasty. Put Smith&Cross Rum in the Peach, Cherry Herring in the Cherry, the pumpkin was divine and DF, and the dutch apple I did I wasn't sure was going to turn out but it was perfect. I used Sugar Bee apples for the first time and they were nice and sweet but still firm when baked. Mel didn't remember we used to put booze in the whipped cream and he did it this time and loved it.

We had Thyra nd Ruhdhan in the evening for driveby chatting and food. They hadn't done a meal that day due to many things and we were quite happy to provide food and drinks. It was nice to have a 'tea' session and chat and see where things were at and then swamp styles. It was a nice evening.

Friday I got up early and went to the gym. Making it my 3rd time at the gym that week. We were having a post Turkey day HIIT session at 9am. I was a tidge early and then Keith and I realized that we didn't have anyone else. No one else showed up. No one else. which means I had the hardest HIIT session. But I did it. I burned almost 700 calories. I was so shaky on the way home. I got home, had a nice shower and then headed to my massage...expect I was an hour early...so I dinked around Ross and Petco and got some things for the holidays and what I needed. Massage was excellent and worked out all of the tightness from my morning exertions. Jesse and Jen came down for Friday afternoon and evening and we had a nice time.

Saturday we slept in a bit and I was trying to finish the 39th Book of the year and I did that. Then I picked up Mom and had her come over to 'help' wrap presents. The boys went to the lumberyard and Ace. Mom was very spacy during things. She thought we were doing lunch. So I fed her. I'm worried she's just not eating unless she really really likes something. If there is chicken in anything she refuses. Sighs.
But she was so confused on Saturday and kept asking the same question (where are we going to breakfast on Sunday) and we answered every time. Sighs. The boys were playing Grounded and I read into the evening. IT was nice.

Sunday we had breakfast with Mom and she was much more alert and cognitive. Still asked where we were going for breakfast. We went to Biscuits which was new to all of us. They were a bit patriotic for my taste but the food was excellent. Benton ordered pineapple upside down pancakes and wow those looked good. They put buttermilk pancake stuff on the griddle, toss in some cherries and pinapple, coat that in brown sugar and then flip. OMG. Mom had her usual bacon, eggs and pancakes. She didn't eat a lot but made a good dent. I had the huevos rancheros and their green sauce was AMAZING.I should have not gotten them Christmas...green all the way. It was a nice time and we dropped mom off. I relaxed a bit at home and then ran some errands to pedicure, the grocer, big lots and checked out a cycle shop. We are planning on getting bikes again and now is the fact finding missions. It was nice to just bum around with a real need. I restocked xmas paper and bags which was needed for future wrapping. I had bought a new paper organizer and finally used it and it is semi-hard sided so it stands nicely in storage.

The rest of Sunday was relaxing and hanging with Mel watching Wednesday. OMG it is so good. Like brilliant casting all around. Wonderful visuals and Danny Elfman wrote a wonderful score. We are at the last episode which will hold to watch until Wednesday. Seriously fun.

I'm now reading #40 for the year which is Tricks for Free from Seanan McGuire. This is the 7th book is in the Incryptid series and its been super interesting. Her world building is always amazing and its a fun mystery. I have 4 more books in the series until I'm caught up and that is a good chunk to get me to the 50 mark or close to it.

Monday was work and the gym and my brain is kinda quiet. I'm not too stressed. Getting more physical exercise has helped with the brain I think. And yes I know its supposed to and that is the point of getting my butt in gear but I've also been lowering my alcohol intake...not restricting per se but not having a lot when I do. So small steps forward are okay.

Project fronts....lol. I'm kinda meh. I need to plan some more simple clothes for war and outfit the boy who has my broad shoulders. But yeah. I still have socks on the needles for mel and half gloves for my self. But that is the week recap.

Well, yesterday I was much more focused than I have been. Work I got some paperwork done that has been lingering which is good since that system went hard down today. I did manage to get to the gym for the first time in almost 7 weeks. Wow. I hadn't realized it was that long...but it was. Fuck this time of year. But it felt good and I lifted moderately heavy things but my stamina is shite...no surprise but the strength is there still so that is good.

I had hoped to watch a movie with Mel yesterday but he was in the shop since he took the day off from work to recover from his weekend. Oh well. did I pick up my knitting? no but I thought about it.

Benton came home with a wet cough which was more frequent than his dry asthma cough. So we are keeping him home today. Gonna do some asthma treatments and see how that goes. I will covid test him as well cause ugh. School had a few scares a few weeks ago. But we shall see.

But yesterday was better mentally. I feel validated with

danabren stating that talking with parents is hard. There isn't anything to talk about especially when you are like me and share nothing in common other than history of living together. When mel brought her the heater he commented she's mentally not there are much as she had been even a week ago. We got into an "argument" about her beer where she thought I didn't believe her when she asked for a beer and they said she was out. I believed they told her that, but had her check with the day staff...she has 30 bottles of beer. She sent me a Passive Agressive text that I needed to apologize to her...I was like for what? "The beer" and I was like mom, I had you check with the day staff, they found where your stash was at and will tell the evening staff. Problem solved She thought I was accusing her of lying? Her brain is swiss cheese and yeah. It was a frustrating convo. She also kept saying obviously everything is her fault and she just wanted to stop talking. I stated that is not how you get to conflict resolution and that I was not saying she was lying, I was saying her info that was given to her is faulty. Also, that her thinking everything is her fault is her anxiety and depression talking and not reality. Not sure she believed me but I'm not turning this into the silent treatment crap from high school. I know how to deal with that now and push for resolution. Is it easy? No. Is it going to make a difference in my relationship with my mom? Probably not but at least I'm not letting her die without knowing how things are and how this isn't her fault. Its better for my mental health. No regrets is what I hope for.

I did finish Escape from Yokai Land....it wasn't what I expected from the ending but it was fun. Lots of fun quotes. I'm not sure what I'm reading next. I think its going to be the rerelease of Wil Wheaton's memoir where he's added notes. I'm not sure what else I'm going to read after that...got a few series I need to figure out where I stopped. I have like 5 books in the incrytid series by Seanan McGuire. so I will probably start there. Not sure i will get to 50.

Next week is Thanksgiving. Not sure what our plans are...its really been one week as it comes. We have coronation this weekend and need to get out of town before really early since the town escape routes shut down for El Tour de Tucson. So i have to come up with a plan. Probably doing very basic. Turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes and pie.

If I'm up for social stuff we have a work potluck Thursday (our in house day). With Benton feeling sick I will keep that on hold. But we shall see.

Again, yesterday was pretty good even though frustrating with mom. But yeah...better than the days before is all I can say.

Last week was hard. Emotionally/brainwise I'm very scattered. I've been a lump on the couch and not motivated to do much of anything. Mel left for a kung fu tourney on Thursday so I was single mom all weekend. Benton was good. he had school off on Friday while I still had work. He got a full video game day which he enjoyed. I had a massage where joeseph worked on my neck and my jaw. oof. This caused rebound headaches all weekend which is okay but ugh. I hate that. Like Saturday I woke up in so much pain I had to heat pack and then it was fine but ugh. Better today even though last night was a bit annoying and nothing was helping the headache. Stress and needing more sleep is what I needed.

Saturday after I dealt with the headache from hell I went to

lferion's dad's memorial. It was an odd memorial for a brilliant but odd man. There were tears and laughter and somberness and that is what memorials are for. I was happy that we got to spend time with him at holidays as he was always an invited guest after his wife passed. If you are interested: William G. Tifft and Obituary

Benton did not attend with me but funerals make him uncomfortable which I compeletely understand and we talked about it very well and about why his feelings are valid and he sent along hugs for the family. We did not attend the after thing for the same reason. Too many people he doesn't know and I completely get that. We did have a nice dinner with Ari though and then she and I had drinks and snuggled up on teh couch watching GBBO and Drink Masters. It was very nice to get BFF time.

Sunday we had breakfast with mom at Joes. Things to know about my mom that I never did is that she really likes pancakes and bacon. She ate more than Benton but he was out of sorts and tired. But it was a nice time but I dont know what to talk about and while this has always been a problem with mel gone it was up to me to keep the convo going and yeah....oh well at least the food was good and the coffee hot. anyone else have nothing to talk with their parents about?

Got home from Breakfast and benton went to lay down. I think we are in the tired and grumpy part of a growth spurt. I let him hang in his room and tidied up the kitchen, the front room a bit and then sat down with knitting and a movie. I never touched my knitting...brain is so scattered I forgot but watched the first part of Enola Holmes 2 before my situational/secondhand embarrassment hit and then I started watching the School for Good and Evil and OMG Charlize Theron just had so much fun. Actually all of the A-list actors did and it was a fun romp and a neat story. Then Benton and I got hooked on watching Bureau of Magical Things which is super cute and not a lot of drama but a cute kids show. Its the balm we both needed. He did some cool lego stuff, I chillaxed and I got dinner in the oven but it took forever. I put sausage in a pumpkin and cooked it with spices and panko on top. Not too bad but these pumpkins were thin skinned and I would have preferred more flesh like when I do this with acorn squash. But it was nice.

Mel got home from the tourney about 8pm, was very happy to have dinner ready and then we chatted and had beers till late catching up on things. He won his division and the school did really well. He's going to judge next year since for him this is an easy competition to win at the advance level and age bracket even though it was 20+ people in it. 30 years of sword fighting has helped him excel. LOL

On the book front I'm still in Escape from Yokai Land...I'm about 70% complete. I just didn't feel like reading this weekend and that is okay. Still working on teh 38th book of the year. I only managed to read 21 last year so this is way better.

When last I wrote i was heading into the weekend for my Apprentice to graduate to the Laurel. I had a dress to finish, which I did on Thursday. It was finished enough to wear. I did not get the over the shoulder and sleeve seams hand finished but it was done enough to wear. I got clothes for Benton expanded/fixed to have things to wear. We got up early on Saturday and made our way to the event and it went really well even though my apprentice was almost late for her own ceremony. She had got to do her makeup at the start of court and they were super quick with all of the awards and I sent zoe to go get her. But it turned out well. Baron Master Sym did a wonderful presentation of what the ceremony is for and explained each part. We were able to cajole the Crown that they had nothing to do but say the oath. It worked well even though HRM tried to only nave folks stand for the candidate and my hubby said he would stand for the knights and speak for them as well. Which is his ducal prerogative. It was a busy day of art and chatting with people. We left after court and headed to Rudy's for BBQ. It was storming which was a weirdness for Phx considering September in Phx had more rain than Seattle. But yeah. It was strange. But almost all of Hrafnheim had dinner together. which was nice. We even got Deletha and the kids.

And other than sleeping in on Sunday the rest of the week was pants. Pants on fire.

Sunday night I got a call from mom's assisted living facility that her g-tube had fallen out. This is her feeding tube that we aren't really using much anymore but for end of life they may need to...so I took her to the emergecny room. We had a new hospital open up and they were very nice and they put in a foley (catheter) since they did not have g-tubes in stock. Monday morning it fell out again. We had it replaced. So I spent more time in the ER from Sunday to Monday than I did sleeping. So I struggle bussed the rest of the week and then was arguing with the oncologist about scheduling for them to install a g-tube. But they basically said that they would let it heal over if it fell out again. So Friday when it fell out I just told her caregivers to bandage it and keep an eye on it. Also during that week we had her PET scan. We went out for lunch to Millies Pancake Haus and she gorged herself on a full stack and most of a bottle of syrup. This woman is a humming bird.

Saturday was an event down in Sonoita. Surprise surprise there were speakers for the candidates...the queen loves to hear them. So that is a good thing. We attended for a laurelling of Mistress Eilith who was originally from Outlands and when she was Baroness of Citadel of the Southern Pass (El Paso), I gifted her my Grace as Queen. She had travelled and provided choral music and it brightened my day when I felt like pure ish. I had given it to her at Battlemore so her kingdom could see her awesomeness. So we were glad to see her get elevated.

Sunday was somewhat relaxing but more tiring. Mel left on business and Benton and I needed to get some chores. I was done by the time we got back from the grocer but it was okay. Mel landed safely in Utah and I got a nice evening.

Monday was a Monday and then it was way more of a Monday after the call from the oncologist. I had read teh PET scan report on Saturday and while it looked dire I didn't read it the way he did. Its not that I don't trust him, I just didn't see it as bad as it is. Re-reading it and previous reports...yeah its bad. Even two months ago he mentioned hospice care but this conversation it was "we are stopping treatment immediately
and start hospice care" He stated it was days to weeks left for her to live. While that may not be the complete case...shes under 100 pounds and is weak and her memory is going so this is the beginning of the end. We knew the caner was winning. Just weren't sure when we'd be in the last quarter. I guess its now.

I called and told Mel and when they were on the way home by plane his boss said he was to take the next day off to take care of me and Benton. I was just going to handle things by myself which is so not the right answer at all. I was glad she said that and I took the day as well. Had a meeting with the assisted living staff, told mom the news, got hospice care set up so at least that part is handled. Its going to a be a slow grind until its not. I'm just exhausted...can't seem to concentrate well or sleep enough. Probably drinking too much but meh. Honestly. I'm not getting drunk.

It better news I managed to finish the #35 book which is Saints and Sinners by Jennifer Roberson, I also started and finished #36 Susan Vowell's The Partly Cloudy Patriot...omg the corrallary between the 2002 election and now and Trump and stuff was fucking eerie. History does repeat...wow.

Now I'm in #37 for the year which is Quantum of Nightmares by Charlie Stross. Back in the New Management series. I like some of the characters but not all of them. But its still a trip. I'm about half way through. Next on the docket...I'm uncertain. We shall see how this one ends if I read the next one right away.

But that is life in a nutshell...pretty sucky.

So Thursday work was grand actually. It was a long day but it was so nice to meet and connect with people. Got done and got home and needed to work on projects but my brain was still in people mode so I called up the apprentice and we got food truck food and headed to the beer house to sit and chat. I got food for Mel too and he met us there after he was done teaching. We have beef shawarma from a ME food truck and stuffed grape leaves...OMG it was heaven. As good or better than the ME place at Dragon Con or the food carts in Peoria near Cat's old Corp office.

We had a lovely time over food and drinks and a great pandora playlist the bartender was playing. The music was not too loud it was just right and good. Had a late evening of fun with the hubby and then we slept in since kiddo was away at camp. And had more fun (wink wink nudge nudge) cause why the hell not?! I started in on sewing and realized that I could not find my bias tape makers...Maybe I lent them out? I don't know. So I headed to joanns and got sucked into the 50% off remnant bin plus got a bias tape maker. Got home and then realized it was the wrong size. Sighs. Had to head back out to get the other size and then had my massage which was nice....and so needed. Picked Benton up from School and then got into make bias tape. Tried to get started on another project I needed to get done for next weekend and didn't have the felt I neeeded. I swear I had some in the right color but I did not. sighs. So Saturday morning after I had breakfast and the like I got the neckline minus the tablet woven trim on by watching a lot of movies. I like the taffeta but next time I do a yoke with it I will cut it on the bias. It was not happy about being forced into a shape and there are some wrinkles I am just going to deal with. But meh I've learned. I did manage to watch Encanto and Coco. I had not seen CoCo and damn you Pixar for making me cry! Then I went to Joanns for the 3rd time in 2 days.

I made this comment and Mel said "like me and Ace Hardware when I do plumbing" and Benton responded with "But mom's good at what she does..." OMG we died. He is so our kiddo. Much love and sarcasm. I got the supplies I needed and bought thread since it was buy 3 get 3 FREE?!!! How could I not? Got home, had dinner and then did the little fun project I've been dreaming about and it turned out perfectly. Like seriously this is amazing and fun and I can't wait for my apprentice to see it.

Sunday I woke up earlyish and got things moving in the studio. I got the side panels sewn and seam finished...yes those are by machine. I'm just going to deal with that I don't have the time. Then I went and played photog for the dojo for Black Belt promotions. Which was nice. Then we went to Guilin for lunch which was super tasty. Then it was home where I finished up the sides of the dress and then got out to work on the scroll. It was slow going and I had to redo somethings but it was super good to make progress. Mel sat and kept me company. It was a truly nice time and shows I have skills I had forgotten. Even Mel was complimentary on some of the things I just can do without any help or setup instructions. Plus I had a nice idea for a tool setup I needed and he was amazed it worked. Work smarter not harder. Honestly.

Got done there and we sat and watched Winter Soldier while I stitched on the tablet woven trim to my dress neckline. Whomever wove it wove it way too tight and I had to use my thimble and needle pullers to get it through the trim. Usually this is a very quick task for me but this took me the entire movie. My hands are aching today and I put on my compression gloves. I need to finish the scroll tonight and then I can finish the dress during the rest of the week. Then I will be ready for the weekend. So close I can taste it.

I hope my stuff with my mom doesn't downer me too much. I may have to call in reinforcements of the BFF kind to help me get things done and sit with me.

I've got 60 pages left in the 35th book of the year and we are heading into the finale. We shall see where this goes. from the Authors notes there is a 3rd book in the works.

I have two mom appt. this week. Luckily they are to here oncology office. Easy peasy but I will be bringing a wheel chair from the home. I'm going to insist. She just can not make it to the office from the front door without issues. And I want it easy for us. Seriously.

She may not like it but its better for her to not stress her body out either.

Well, the weekend was productive and Monday was very productive. Tuesday just sucked.

Had to take mom to an MRI across town...so 45 min drive each way. It was pouring rain while driving. Mom was fiesty and didn't want to use a wheel chair and she had a lot of issues getting in an out of the car. We had lunch out and she ate well but slowly and she's lost a lot of her manners. Speaking with her mouth full, chewing with her mouth open. I don't know if its cause she's lived alone so long or what...its just odd. She was very weak when we got back to the care facility. So weak infact she couldn't make it up the ramp. I know she had not used the bathroom while we were out and my nose told me she had used her depends. I don't know if she's aware she did. Its sad. We had to sit on the outside bench for a while and then she had to have a caregiver help her inside. Sighs. It was hard...it was hard for me mentally to watch this slow degradation. I did not take it well.

I got home and took a 15min to just sit and not be....then I worked for a few hours but I was so tired and just strung out I took a nap. Mel was nice enough to bring Benton home since he wasn't hitting the practice due to the rain. I woke up when they got home. I was still tired and didn't feel great. But a nap was good thing.

Wednesday wasn't too bad for work...just slow. I left from home at 5pm while still on a call and then went to the yarn tasting for Circulo Yarns. The rep was from Brazil and she was very nice. The yarns we tried were wool free with cotton, acrylic, viscose, bamboo styles. I did not like their 100% acrylic as much as other brands. It was more sticky than I liked and not in a good way. I fell in love with their "bamboo" which is a mix and it was so soft and comes in a neat marled/striped style. I got a skein of the 8990. Not sure what I will do with it yet but there is a lot of yarn on the skein.

I got to chit chat with my friends who I haven't seen in years. Got caught up on the gossip. Had a nice simple meal and a good beer while trying out yarns. Its what I needed. I got home and needed to work on bias tape but I just snuggled up on the couch.

Today Benton left for Sky Camp for the day/night. Its up on Mount Lemmon and they get to hang out at the observatory. He gets back to school tomorrow at lunch. So yay. We get a kid night off and get to sleep and don't need to get things ready for him to be in the school. So I'm at work today since they are asking hybrid folks (especially leadership) to be in at least 2-3 times per week. But since my program area is not set up for us and my new office has a squatter we need to evict I'm sitting near where I had been. The desk is meh. Its nice to see folks though and we've hammered out a lot of things. I've missed the chit chat.

When I get home tonight I hope to get the bias tape made and then head out to get drinks with the hubby.

Still reading #35 which is Saints and Sinners by Jennifer Roberson. I like the characters and its an easy read. This is what I need after Nona. I think next will be Wil Wheaton's autobiography he re-released with commentary. Or I can get into the Laundry Files again. Not sure yet.

The scroll is making good progress. I hope to get good slog done over the weekend to get it just to final touchups next week. I need to finish my dress as well. Its currently hanging out on the dress form and I will be working on that too this weekend. Plus validating Benton has clothes that fit.

Well, I've managed to hit two workouts this week, fix a dress and have another dress partially torn aprt. Remember that you shouldn't start new projects after 9pm...even if they are easy and "no brainer". you will find yourself ripping out the wrong seams......sighs. I did this on both sides of the dress I'm expanding for my shoulder/chest increase. weight lifting causes changes and I made that dress when I was smaller and it was tight then. So, I'm going to add in racing stripes down the side center seams. It will match the red trim...I was just dumb late and did the wrong damn seams....and those were double seamed while the one I needed to do was not. Sighs. So tonight I hope to get the stripes in and fit. I also need to do laundry and will start that after work since its been pants all week.

I've talked so much this week and especially today I'm super hoarse. I talked for 2.5 hours almost straight ugh.

I am looking forward to some sewing zoom time with

danabren this weekend and having a BBQ with my mom.

I did finish the book and wow...just wow. Nona the Night was #34 for the year and now to pick up the second Jennifer Roberson book to make #35 for the year. I'm going to get close to 50 I think if I keep on pace.

So I had the Friday off and things went oddly. I guess I forgot that I had a Thursday massage not a Friday one and got charged a cancellation fee cause I had confirmed on text but hadn't looked at the date (22 versus 23) but in the end this is okay. I had gotten my flu shot and the new shiny bivalent pfizer vaccine. This was after I dropped off Benton for school with his boat and after breakfast burritos. Then it was shots and a drive into work to get my brain washed for another year. They added 20+ pages to this years info and wow that was a lot to digest. But all good. Then I went and spent time with Mom. She looks much better than the last time and got a bit more color and flesh in her face. She's still weak though and I don't think that will change. We talked while sitting out on the porch and it was nice. I knit and we chatted. I do think that she's still not quite getting that she's dying and its not going to be a long. Covid really took the wind out of her. We shall see what the doc says in a few weeks but I was very blunt about what he said so she would listen. He mentioned hospice multiple times mom, that was to clue you in that its your choice when you want to be done with things. So we shall keep on trucking but I still don't think she will last till Christmas.

Anyhoo, after that I came home and chatted with the boys and then I went to read and fell dead asleep for a few hours. Seriously, passed the fuck out. But that is what my body needed. Got up about 830pm and had some water etc and ice cream cause why not. Then I was back in bed by 10.

Saturday was nice and I slept in, read and finally got my shower and started to move things from my studio to storage from my work office stuff. Got that done and relaxed, we had pizza for dinner cause Mel had spent time in the shop after a hard workout/black belt testing and pizza was good. Mel played video games and I read. I went to bed early cause I had an "plans" for sunday which I will chat about on another post. I managed a 12 hour day and got Willa's scroll to 80% done. now the heavy lifting. Much thanks to folks who helped me with that.

Monday I worked hard and was able to make it to the gym even though my right ear canal is unhappy. its got a raised sore bit and using my endoscope and can't tell what is causing it...it so I will let it be and see if it clears up but its bothering me enough I can only wear one ear bud. Anyhoo...went to the gym and did the crazy ass workout. It was good. I got home had dinner, watched the new Baumgartner video and then started in on getting the studio converted to a sewing studio. This time versus putting my work table in the middle of the room I kept it in the back...when I cut fabric out I will have to move it out but its okay. This will work. The cats are happy that I have ironing board up and immediately have covered it in hair. sighs....

But I will be sewing this week which is good as well as getting materials and path forward on the last 80% of the scroll project. Woot. But muse is happier and that is good.

On the book front I'm 75% done with Nona the Ninth and really enjoying it. This is more straight forward of a story telling experience than the last two books but things are still building to some crazy ass plot twists. I'm here for it...I just got confused last night of a character showing up and now I need to go back to the previous book and go..."oh...now I get it..."

So my muse has been kicking me which is good...but my brain is tired and my progress on the scroll is stalled due to materials and my help having an issue. Its not quite panic time but I'm working on it. It won't do any good but yeah. But I have plans to sew this weekend.

One thing that has been bugging me is my studio has 3 boxes of stuff I need to move...they are things from my office at work and they just need to get moved into storage and to get the sewing table up and working. The cats are going to love that and the ironing board I'm sure. But there will be sewing and repair work on some things that need mending or new hems etc. It will get me back into my groove since its been over a year since I've felt like that. Need to maintain.

On the work front the problem child has been removed from our program. I don't know if she will get fired but man the evidence is there. Its been stressful with her on program and the emotional load of telling her team she had been replaced was hard. Then I had to tell Program Management and didn't let them ask questions. It was a rough Wednesday. I was just so drained I laid down after work.

Benton decided that yesterday was the day to put a bent paperclip into an outlet and blew out the outlet at school. HE is fine, the outlet is smoked and the paperclip melted. He was using it to pull a plug out of the wall and didn't think that plan all of the way through. He keeps being a Kemp with their motto "Sometimes not too bright."

Mel is grumpy and its not just me and the boy etc...his back is better but if feels weird and he's not sure if that is to be expected or what...hes' frustrated he's got no stamina for fighting. Luckily he will be taking the week off of Benton's fall break so I hope that helps.

I finished the Enchantment Emporium and I liked the world and the hijinks. I then started in on Nona the Ninth and this is going to be a ride.

I get my 4 Covid shot (second booster) and my flu shot tomorrow. I need to trek into work for some training and then I have a massage in the evening.

Mom's birthday was happy and disheartening. For those of you in IG I posted pictures of her and if you compare them to pictures August 20th you can see how skelatal she looks. Covid did its best to kill her and even her oncologist has lost any spunk with here which I think is poor beside manner honestly. But she's so weak she couldn't walk the whole way to his office from the closest parking spot. I had to get a wheel chair. But she enjoyed her Squishmallow cat I got her and that was good. I made sure she had donuts and then just kinda am numb and sad with her. Its hard. Had to have some frank conversations with Mel on what we do next.

With things being dismal and dealing with work personnel issues have been rough. Have a lead who just can't deal with things in a sane manner. Back talks, has delusions of grandeur about their own importance and just can't take instruction. We've failed to get this lead to deal with how we do things and they are a micromanager. Well, the weekend proved their downfall and if you are going to shoot yourself in the foot, make sure your boss is on copy. just saying. Now we have lots of repercussions but that is better to deal with than before and my morning was rosy and bright and not stressful even though I have a ton of work today.

So the weekend was busy with SCA stuff. We had crown tourney and only had 2 in the house fighting and none of them serious enough to worry about winning. But we made a good show. I brought out my bar for Ukranian Mules and G&T's and made sure folks had drinks (even N/A ones). It was a great success and I'm well pleased with my setup. The only thing I need to add to it is an ice pick. I used our ice bucket for ease and kept things sanitary with a scoop and it was really nice. Plus I got to introduce folks to good ingredients (Ryoku, Hendricks Orbium, Khor Vodka and Ritual Gin alternative). Plus good tonic and gingerbeer from fevertree as well as fresh squeezed lime juice and the lazy trick of Simply Limeade for other drinks.

It was bonkers hot for us though...oof. 103 and barely a breeze on Sunday. Saturday wasn't too bad. Even though I had fixed my peplos dress the fabric is too thick for that kind of heat and I wore and older dress from my first reign that I've since made short sleeved. The Saturday I wore my dark teal dress which Anya made...super light linen as well.

Anyhoo, I drank and knit and chatted with folks in our tent and only ventured out to watch the finals with the rest of the Roses. Courts were too short for 3 peerages IMHO and then it was home each day without issue. Sunday though I was so hot and tired, I took a shower and passed out for a few hours during which Benton lost 2 more teeth. So that is 3 teeth in two weeks...which is still a larger time span than my 4 molars in two days when I was his age.

Jackie did come out all 39 weeks preggers and socialized for about an hour or so. Her family and 3 false labor scares are making her crazy. I'm glad I didn't go through that with Benton. It was I'm pregnant and then I was just BAM in labor.

But it was good to see people and chat and work out some things for the scroll...though that may get pushed sideways due to my mentor/help is getting knee surgery. But I think we can make it work. I also had a very shocking spark of muse for my dress for my Apprentices elevation especially after she convinced the crown to make it a performance piece during the performing arts section of A&S. It will be short but lively and explanatory for the audience. Plus everything that she wants which makes us happy and it a bit of malicious compliance on our parts. I'm all about malicious compliance which brings me to my muse stating I need to make a Slytherin colored laurel dress for the ceremony. I have the black linen and I will be ordering some more green silk for the placard, I have plenty left over trim from Becca's coat in other greens to do some matchy fun. We shall see. But the muse is awake and cranky and wants me to look pretty so yeah. I need to order more silk...oh noes! But one of them is ectoplasm for the color which just makes me happy.

On the book front I'm really enjoying #33 The Enchantment Emporium. I really like the family dynamic and if you like the Fey wacky relationships. Some people are freaked out by that, I'm not. Its been interesting is and that is what I need right now. After this I have some Charlie Stross Laundry files to read so that will be less enjoyable maybe? We shall see.

When last I wrote it was a monday like this one. Mom has since recovered from Covid but that was a scary thing. She doesnt' remember a week and only could complain that they made her do things too quickly (get dressed and ready for the day), she's usually doing all of that herself but she didn't cause she was ill. So that is what you complain about. They also had to do some tube feedings since she wasn't eating. She grumped about that too and said the food they were bringing her she wouldn't feed to my cats. This is again from the woman who made me eat the same casserole for 6 days a week for years complaining about food. sighs. But she is at least is here to complain.

Benton was out of school for 3 days and I got what he got and was so done by the end of that week. It wasn't bad just sore throat, achey head and lethargy. It was not covid...we tested multiple times but it still sucked and we were both crabby patties the whole weekend which was fine...it was a holiday weekend. I read a lot and slept a lot. I took care of Ari's kitties and birds. Mel and I finished going through the entire handspun stash that had gotten hit by moths. We lost a bit and now need to bag it up and store it again. But that was a lot and we got it done finally. I did not get to the linen closet redo but that is okay.

I finished book 29: Life and Limb by Jennifer Roberson; Read number 30 of the year Be the Serpent by Seanan McGuire which was fabulous and mind blowing and cliffhangered!; (31) Read Death by Cashmere which is a Seaside Knitters Mystery by Sally Goldenbaum it was okay...I need the second book and own the third?; (32)Read Uprooted by Naomi Novick and Wow it was amazing and I want more in that world. Am now reading The Enchanted Emporium by Tanya Huff who is a mixed bag for writing. This world seems interesting so we shall see. I got it used so not too worried if its meh. Online reviews are a mix and some people get weird on "magical inbred families" and well, meh. I read enough fanfic I don't get squicked out from odd family dynamics etc.

This last weekend I went to drop off meds with mom and visit with her and she basically shooed me off cause she was busy playing games with the other little biddies. It was weird. I had barely talked with her for two weeks...she had had covid and well I felt super weird getting dismissed. I went and got a PSL (oatmilk) from Dunkin' and then went shopping for all things fall. I got some witchy stuff and got gifts for the next day for a party. It was splendid and I was out of the house for more hours than I had been in weeks. It was nice...did I do some shopping therapy, yes, did I need to do that? Yes. Got home for a nice dinner and I went to bed early to try to finish books number 32. Saturday I got to sleep in a bit and then got dressed to head to a pool party. Thyra had gotten a new pool installed with an amazing baja deck with umbrellas in the pool. Had a nice time getting drinks and chatting with folks and just relaxing and getting vitamin D. The apprentice requested the right to kidnap me for dinner and drinks so we got home at 5pm and then I got a shower and dressed up nice for the evening. We hit Ermanos and then did more drinks and churros at the Boxyard. Got a wonderful picture of the full moon over the awnings over Boxyard which was great. I slept almost 10 hours and then went and got to do all of the shopping for groceries. Costco and Safeway. Benton helped me with the Costco run but it was too loud and crowded and he was so done. I get that and I got him an eegees. I then got laundry on cause I was down to the underwear that I hate to wear...I need to put it away but its at least washed and dried. My goal is to work on that tomorrow.

So I've not been to the gym cause sick and then work last week was nuts with only 3 days of work I did 32 hours. WTF? Ugh. Usually holiday weeks you are able to get things finished and relax...that was not the case. I had finance variances to do for myself and my mechanical lead and that was done. It was a lot of work but I found the reasons things were weird and why I'm 800k$ behind schedule. and 1.3M$ overspent. Yeah. stressful

This week my goal is two gym sessions and to try to be kinder to myself. Mom's birthday is tomorrow. I hope to do something with her but we have an appt. We shall see. We shall see what the oncologist has to say this week. I'm pretty sure the numbers will still be bad but we will take that river when we have to traverse it.

Well I made it through all of the appts with Mom in July. It was a lot. Not gonna lie and then I had to deal with her getting brain radiation as well. She had more tumors appear and they wanted to zapp them to at least try to get her to hang on longer. Work has been atrocious and I've had more OT in the last 3 weeks than in the last 6 months. Its weird. But hopefully this week means that things will get back on track.

What have I been doing...working, working, taking care of mom and reading. No gym time, drinking too much and probably eating too much. Sighs. My anxiety is very high and other work stressors are making that even more dizzying. Hopefully that issue will resolve itself in the next few weeks as well.

For reading I finished the following books:
Book 23 - Twilight Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko
Book 24 - Broken by Jenny Lawson (I love the Bloggess and this book was just what I needed)
Book 25 - Fire Touched by Patricia Briggs (got the rest of the Mercy Thompson series I was missing)
Book 26 - Silence Fallen by Patricia Briggs
Book 27 - Storm Cursed by Patricia Briggs
Book 28 - Smoke Bitten by Patricia Briggs (Soul Taken comes out tomorrow but I only by paperbacks for this series)
Book 29 - in progress is Life and Limb by Jennifer Roberson, I picked it up from an indie local bookstore at PHXFF and thus far its interesting. I have the second book to follow it as well.

We surprised mom with her friend Diane flying in for the weekend so I played chauffeur and host most of the weekend which was tiring. I have not been to the gym for weeks due to work and I dress the day of the gym with the gym clothes on and then I'm in meetings till 7pm. Hoping to break that curse today but its all starting things over again. I did bbq on Saturday and mel did nummy brunch on Sunday. My mom ate a lot which is good. And my food was tasty...mels' waffles were a hit and that was good.

Still trying to get benton to not be a trash monster. His back pack was full of crap I just tossed. we had to have a fight over his room this AM since he is supposed to clean it for housekeeping days and it wasn't. Sorry kiddo, when you keep your own house you can live like a slob but not under my roof.

I did manage to finish one small piece of knitting for a baby shower gift and I am about half way done with one sock for mel after tearing it out and starting again. Everything else has stalled and that is not good. I'm hoping to get some good work on the scroll this week and then make plans over the next few weekends to get the final details hammered out so maybe I have time to make myself a new dress for my apprentices elevation and a new tunic for the boy?

One nice highlight was seeing Dominique and Steven who stopped by on the way back home from Ed and Candaces. Got hugs and to see her shawls she had finished with all of the pretty beads.

So, yeah life in a nutshell the last few weeks. I need to get back to writing since it helps my brain

Current Mood: contemplative

So this whole month has been nuts with appointments for mom. She had radiation on her hip to help with the pain. She had and full head MRI and a full PET scan. Plus all of her normal appts. This has been tough on me and her. She's in pain, having to get transported a lot. Hard on me cause its a constant shuffle of work etc. She's seeming very weak to me and just not normal weak. She's also just been a bit more not cognizant on things. Which is concerning. Thursday (7/21) was a stellar day of finding out her brain has more tumors and then her PET scan on Friday showed that she has larger tumors in her lungs, sternum and pelvic bones. They are going to try doubling her chemo med and see what happens but I'm not sure what will happen yet. I figured the drugs wouldn't be working in about 5 months from now, not now. But I don't seem to get what I want lately, not sure why I'm surprised. I've got a call into the Doc about the plan for the additional radiation they want to do. I got the test results before he did. Which is a fun thing now...sighs.

To add insult to injury, we had a incident at work Thursday at the plant that does my hardware. Everyone is safe but they had an accidental turn on of a battery when it shouldn't have been able to be turned on. Folks got evacuated and for the weekend and now things are moving on a failure review. So that was a fun. Still fun. We are shut down and this sucks. But time and the review board will figure it out. I'm part of the team so yeah so much work and my brain is sideways at times.

So I spent the weekend in a daze in a way. I wanted to badly just get blind drunk and pass the eff out. But I didn't...I did have a few drinks but nothing crazy, not even buzzed. Friday night I had dinner with Ari and Thyra...it was good to chat and not be with my mom or in my house. Saturday AM I slept way in...past when I wanted to get up for the KWHSS...but classes I could attend started at 6am my time. oof. But I got up, played stardew and then went to a facial. It was with Brook versus Marci and I really don't like Brook. I will wait until Marci comes back from leave. I just don't vibe with her at all and she doesn't really dig into the extractions as much I think she should. She didn't touch my nose at all....like I know I got gunk there...wth? I did not tip well but it was a good self care for me. Then I got cat food from the vet and home to get dressed and spent a few hours as my sCA self and attended classes. It was nice, I chatted with folks until 7pm and then I was peopled out. Mel and Benton were playing games so I took myself to the bedroom to lay down and watch things on my phone. I was too tired to think of grabbing my ipad which has a bigger screen. I was up later reading. The Twilight Watch got interesting and then that part ended and I'm now at the 3 portion of the last book and yeah. So weird still. I hope to finish it this week as it will be Book 24 of the year.

What was nice was that during the last class I finished off the shawl I had started a few days before coming home from SD. I got it washed and blocked yesterday. Today I will sew in the 4 ends of the yarn. I also managed to purge my bathroom of old makeup and stuff I don't need. Its way cleaner under the sink (I had had to remove everything due to Mel installing a shiny new faucet the previous weekend). Plus I washed all of my makeup brushes which they really, really needed. So I'm all set if I want to do makeup lol. But it felt good to get rid of 5 shopping bags full of crap. And now my tiny countertop and the top of the toilet are clean/organized.

On the project front I have been slowly sketching the scroll for the apprentice. I need to finish that up soon so I can start the next part. I'm going to rip out a sock I started for Mel cause the pattern isn't the right number of stitches. I had just finished the cuff so its not too hard to fix. I have a baby blanket set to start just need to figure out the color progression. So lots of things to start and I still have 1 shawl on the needles that is in time out, 2 other baby projects as well that I started and havne't made much progress on and some of those kids are years old now. So I'm not sure what to do there. I should just finish them and have an FO and send them off and not worry about it.

So what do you do with old FO? do you just finish them or let them sit some more? I also have to think of a new outfit for my apprentice getting her laurel....I can't look like ass and wear something old yanno. She's my first graduate so its important. Sighs...too much todo. Well back to work.

Okay 10 days and no post...sorry about that but I was tired from Con, had a stressful 3 day workweek and then lots of ennui.like so much ennui. So the con was really good. It was not as big as the con in 2019 which was almost too much. Mel was happy to have a very quiet house to himself. We had a wonderful time in the newly remodeled Sheraton hotel. Everything is all redone and modern and the bar...well its not as cozy as it was but its more what is the vogue now. The update to the restaurant now has a large curved bar that you can sit on the edge of the outdoors which was wonderful. They had full security with metal detectors. Ari and I luckily got clear backpacks from the con for a free gift for buying merch and that was awesome to have and carry around and made going through security easily.

Anyhoo...didn't hit any panels, only hit the lego room with Benton once and hit the burly show. So not as jam packed as usual but that was okay. Benton is big enough now to get himself back to the hotel and hang out when he gets overstimmed. So that was okay. We bought a lot of things including new light sabers, art, books, some comics and fun things.

We got to hang with folks and introduce folks to some local haunts (Cornish Pasty Company). Hung out with Talon from Nightwolf and his lady and we got to enjoy the pool on Sunday. We got home mid-morning on Monday and it was a very nice trip. I had lunch and then crashed for like 3 hours.

Highlights were meeting Patrick Wahlburton and Felicia Day (again). She remembered singing a baby (Benton) and we had a good chat. Ran into Doug Jones checking out and he was absolutely amazing.
Here are my photos click the picture to take you to the album:

The rest of the week work where most people were off for the week. And things were just way too busy and just hard all around. Our schedule is messed up, charging is messed up and it just a mess. I just didn't feel like doing anything.

Mom's pain has increased and there was drama with her pain meds and the oncologist and everything. We see a radiologist this week to hopefully get some treatment of her hip to help with that pain. The cancer is everywhere...so bone pain isn't uncommon but mom doesn't' talk about things to anyone and only complained to me about the pain weeks later. Her brain resets every 10 minutes which also doesn't help. Sighs.

On the Mel front his pain is less....so they are going to do another contrast MRI to see if he's dealing with the infection on his own. None of the docs have seen that before. So when we thought they wanted the knife biospy and the picc line and now we wait and see. His MRI is tomorrow so hopefully we see what is up. I'm happy he's feeling better but this is still just fucking weird.

So, the enuii has just made me tired. I only want to sleep. Yes things are stressful but not any more than they had been. Was talking with Willa and well, my steroid shot is probably messing with my brain meds. Looking at the steroid, my asthma steroid and my anxiety meds its all for the fat around my middle increasing. The shot can lower my will power and make food taste better. Which is just fucking lovely. I'm at 230 pounds right now when a year ago and less stress and meds I was 222 which was the highest I'd ever been at that point in time. I meet with my doc next week and I will see what I can do. i'm trying to track my meals again, watch my carbs and not drink so much. It has been bad on the booze but man I want a vice that isn't hard on my middle. Trying to get to the gym too but again. ennui. The steroid shot should wear off in a few weeks but I have to be mindful. I'm trying to get myself back into the swing of projects. I have a laurel scroll to do for my apprentice and that is going to be a project I need to start drawing. Its going in a direction I wasn't expecting but that is okay. A challenge is good. But I need my brain and body to cooperate. I would also like the universe to stop testing my resolve. Seriously.

i finished Book 21 for the year which was You're Never Weird on the Internet by Felicia Day. She signed it for me at the con. I'm now reading an ebook of the The Night Watch Collection which is the 3 books by Sergei Lukyanenko. Its a Good versus Bad balance kind of book set in Russia. Very philosophical take on good and evil and how they have to balance each other by truce and treachery. I'm 2/3 of the way through the first book which is Night Watch. I'm liking it and its heavy on the thinking about the philosophy. Maybe not what I should be reading right now but I did pick up some Patricia Briggs books in her Mercy Thompson series to get things on a different note. But once I finish the ebook that will be books 22, 23 and 24 for the year. I'm will probably meet my goal for 50 per this year. I hope.

This got long...but I've been writing it over two days in between things.

The lead up to the weekend was a bit stressful just cause we were unprepared and Mel's back was just giving him hell. Plus we were tired. But we managed to get packed up and on the mountain before full dark. Had help from Dominique to get setup as well as HE Ruan and THL Etgar getting this up the hill. It was a nice spot to camp minus the fact it was up a large hill and the bathrooms and everyone else were downhill. But it was okay. We did forget things like bread for sammiches, pitas for dinner, my viking pants (I had tunics). But it was all okay honestly. I wore leggings with my tunics so no issues there, we got given tortillas for dinner and I think Mel borrowed bread from Poe. NBD. Dominique and I went down to the bardic. Mel was tired and sore and Benton came with us. It was a nice evening of songs and stories. Folks were loud and spunky. Headed to bed a bit after 1130.

We had some foxes having loud relations the first night and I slept poorly my bed roll was not rolled well and the blankets kept slipping. Saturday was good. Mel made french toast over the fire with the fig bread he makes. I started drinking early, as you do, and it was a nice day. Good court...slightly annoying polling order meeting but I knit and only commented when I really need to say things. Like, there are people you call on and people you rely on. Those are different sorts of people. Also, if you are going to talk about people don't call them kid, or son, or boy if they are over 18....seriously, this is degrading...even if I think their behavior is childish....just don't. WE get enough of that in the media with people going on shooting sprees. Ahem.

Anyway, there was an arts display and Lady Dominique took 3 of the categories (bread, sweets and B&B choice). We cheered! I had entered the mitts I made and my hat from my Calontir Clothing Challenge project. I had lent them to Thyra Friday night since it was 50F and we are cold desert rats. She liked them so much I just ended up giving them to her. As you can see from this photo the love for my knitting was worth it.

Sir Justin liked them so much that he asked if I could make him a pair. So I will be making them again in probably blue for him and I will pull out my yarn I had bought for this project in Arkansas and do it for myself. lol. I started on socks for mel and they are going well though one of the cats got a hold of them. sighs.

Saturday night was nice and I slept well until I got woke up with Benton outside our tent freaking out cause he had just thrownup all over his tent. Needless to say it wasn't as bad as it could be. Poe was a rockstar and got him settled while mel and I got things cleaned up. He had gotten an asthma attack after a coughing fit and that triggered him to throw up. Poor kiddo was worried we were mad, we werent. the only thing ruined was his camp mattress which was his old crib mattress so it got thrown out.

Speaking of cats Tasha was super weird when we got home and I realized on Monday she wasn't eating. Got her to finally eat some kibble etc on Tuesday night but she is currently at the vet under observation and fluids. Deb thinks its her kidneys but we shall see. She is only 3. I feel guilty that we should have taken her in sooner but she was thinner but not skinny until Monday. Also, they are not food motivated cats in general so not noticing they aren't eating is hard when you only touch their food bowl once every few days. Additionally, they are silent pukers...never know who puked what. We did have some food puke a few weeks ago and then a lot of hairballs but nothing really indicative to issues until we got back from camping. Sighs. She's too young to have issues like this.

So we just wait.

I finished Lattes and Legends and it was cute. I started Felicia Day's Memoir and its funny since its out of date now but the way her life intersected with other folks I know online is uncanny. I gamed with the guy who wrote the Ranger's Cookbook in Ultima.

The last two weeks have been busy with appointments with mom and SCA work. I had a scribal assignment that needed to to be done for Coronation. I don't do the hand the piece was based on and had to practice and get my hands to do a square quadrata. Then I find out that the person who did the amazing illumination had been callig'ing in a totally round batarde hand. Bitch! you sent me the expemplar! I matched it! We had a good laugh. Luckily she is a dear friend and was tickled I was trying to make her scroll look even more on point. But its a lesson for me that I can learn new things and to ask the right questions. It was a really nice weekend minus a few weird things.

I had planned to drive up on Friday night that way we had a 20 min drive to site versus 2.5 hours. This was a really good plan and we used the nice box lady to help us not get stuck in a huge traffic collision on I10. Then Saturday was nice, we got to site, had help getting things setup and it was just a nice day of hanging with the hosuehold peeps and watching some fighting and chatting and drinking and me working on putting trim on the last tunic I have. Got that done just as the crown was stepping down and then we had a step up court in not enough light....this was planned poorly. And then the new King wanted another Knight's circle. I have an 11 year old, its 730 at night and we didn't leave site until almost 9pm. Luckily things got packed and loaded and mel just had to pick up his stuff. We could leave tents up overnight so we just got things set and home. Benton got a shower while I hit MOD for pizza and then I got a shower. I was so dirty but so glad that I wore my greek on a hot and dry day. I looked good and was cool. So late night. By the time I got to bed the boys were both snoring. Benton had spent all day playing with kids on the play ground and the field to the side and being an awesome kiddo with all of the little kids. We had two sets of different parents that told us how awesome he was. Makes me proud of my kiddo.

Sunday we slept in and then hit site...we weren't planning on spending the whole day but we did. Rook was there fighting and Dominique came back out and we had a wonderful falconer named Ysabel and her Harris Hawk Oscar who sat with us while I worked on my reign hood which now finally has the seams finished and the hem done. Now I need to make the thin trim for the edges and do the embroidery. I have a plan, it will be slow but nice handwork for courts and the like. I did get called to be stunt signet since Sam didn't show and we needed names on scrolls etc. I did it but was a bit annoyed I didn't get told it was my job that day. I'm fine doing it but my quick kit was really poor on supplies. I need to get things set for travel again. But it was fun to sit with our principal herald and get some information. This new crown will be interesting. Mark was crown a long time ago and things have changed (for good and bad) so some things will have to be adapted for them. Our Queen is new to this society having only starting coming out during my last reign. The roses are stepping up to help her so I need to see what else we can do.

We got packed up and headed to Rudy's for dinner. Rook had never been and he was very happy to have a new place to know has good food. We then got home about 830pm. We still need to take tents out of the van but personal stuff is done. But man we are all tired from the weekend. Made my monday really hard

I finished book book 13: McLaurin's Lady. Started and finished Book 14: Spirits of New Orleans and started Number 15: All Systems Red by Wells. I'm liking murderbot.